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Mrs. Guppy

June 10th, 2009

seal_guppyTo be perfectly frank, no one is entirely sure what she is known for. Though this fact has stepped nicely into that slot, making her one of the most well known umbralites to do something. So much so, in fact, that many scholars spent the early years of their careers traumatized, convinced that they were forgetting something important.

Her only link with posterity is the Guppy Honorary Teacup of Timelines struck in her honor. It is awarded to those select individuals who have single-handedly saved the world. From this it is surmised that she did, at one point in her life, save the world single-handedly. When coupled with the only over reliable fact about the lady, namely that she was categorically insane, it is not difficult to understand scholarship’s ignorance. There was great excitement a few years past when a box containing her correspondence with the League was uncovered among a collection of 19th century battle mittens, but they were found, upon examination, to constitute little more than exhaustive anecdotes on the subject of her son.


  1. Lisa
    June 10th, 2009 at 15:03 | #1

    Now this one… frustrates. Shall she be in Agatha’s Hatchet, or is she a kite flying in the sky of Umbralites outside the story? For you’ve told just enough to stimulate curiosity, and I vote you have someone track down her son (be not barred by things like death, for there is story here) and demand that he/some knowing descendant tells all for the good of the League.
    And because being categorically insane is no excuse for not keeping good records.
    Idle comment: The first sentence is a bit odd, in saying “no one is entirely sure what she is known for. Though this fact…” which fact? That no one knows what she is known for? It puzzles. All else is good, particularly the bit about the anecdotes and battle mittens.

  2. June 10th, 2009 at 18:43 | #2

    Hmm, actually I believe that’s exactly what the great and powerful Oracle means. She is now known essentially for the fact that she isn’t known for anything. Though this, of course, engenders some of the same brain-numbing implications as of that old standby, the Grandfather Paradox… Oh well, I guess we could just call it the Batty Old Grandmother Paradox.

  3. June 11th, 2009 at 07:23 | #3

    Now, is this the REAL Mrs. Guppy, who orders old men out of their own living rooms on account of her son being misappreciated? Why the bird? I hope you are not confusing her with Miss Flite.

  4. Oracle of the Closet
    June 11th, 2009 at 15:05 | #4

    I assure you, I am not confusing her with Miss Flite.

  5. Mom
    June 17th, 2009 at 06:53 | #5

    Wow! I had no idea that Mrs. Guppy was so well- …um… not-well-known! It’s amazing to learn that she had other interests besides marrying off her son – who’d have thought it!

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